Monday, January 16, 2012

I'm sitting in a hostel in downtown Amman, it's 5:23am and morning prayers have already been called. I just talked to a good friend on Skype about significant others who cheat. I sent him a cheating song from my Livejournal days, when every dramatic event had to be tied to some lyric or other. Then I flipped through months of my LJ. I remember that even while I kept it, I cursed it. Because I wasn't living life to the fullest, or I wasn't channeling my emotions productively. After I let it go, I blamed it for dooming my early relationships, because blogs are the only things keeping 16-year-olds from really getting it...?

Now I'm finally seeing it as an archive, and a pretty thorough one. I posted in that thing every day! Sometimes twice!

I felt compelled to re-post this post, in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

May 12, 2004
1:45am: [Private] morgan+lack of sleep+sugar+history homework=
i like studying the civil rights movement. it's exciting, like a story unfolding. i like social history. not units where this country makes a treaty with that country or bombs the hell out of another country. you can't really see beyond that. psychology is so much more understandable. who cares if one power-hungry man makes a national decision with the help of his administration? with civil rights the people had the influence and the president was a spectator. it was tragic, but at the same time, there was so much potential for change. the white people hated black people because no matter what went wrong in their own lives, they still had it better than someone, they still had dominion over something, and that was about to get taken away. then there was a generation of people who were being punished for weakness and inferiority they never even witnessed. hate was inherited, not inspired. you can trace these emotions into every home in america at the time. you can see the story in every face in every picture and understand could've been one of them. and all of a sudden it's not all black and white anymore. it's not good vs. evil. it's the freedom and enslavement issue all over again. it wasn't just for the freedom to vote, or to sit anywhere on a bus, it was the white man's freedom from hate. while reading the packet i found myself mentally cheering everyone on. dare to love, people! everyone was a prisoner....

and i'm a prisoner of insonmnia. sweet jesus.
Current Mood: thoughtful